The Focus of this Lesson is to Explore Hungarians' Politeness
Kifejtené, milyen megbízásai voltak az előző munkahelyén?
"Would you elaborate what kind of tasks did you have in your previous job?"

One of the difficulties of the Hungarian language is the complexity of its polite language. Depending on the other person's age, profession and the context of the conversation, the level of politeness can change significantly. In lower levels we learned basic rules of formal language such as conjugation, the difference between ön and maga, as well as expressions Hungarians use when talking to the elderly. The focus of this lesson is to go one level up in politeness and learn how to address people in a formal context, and to be able to ask favors/questions using the conditional form. Here are two tips to master politeness in Hungarian quickly:

First, you can let go the definite articles in a possessive structure! In a very polite conversation, the definite article is often left out when you use a possessive.

For example:

1. Az önéletrajza felkeltette érdeklődésünket.
   "Your resume has aroused our interest."

In a less formal context or during a polite oral conversation, you would naturally say Az önéletrajza felkeltette az érdeklődésünket., by getting out the definite article before the noun in the possessive form, your speech becomes even more polite. In written language, this rule is a must!

Second, using the same logic, you can also get rid of the conjunction hogy or "that" usually found after a comma.

For example:

1. Úgy éreztem, az önök cégénél új tudásra tehetnék szert.
   "I felt that in your company I could gain new knowledge."

In spoken language, it would be still polite to say "Úgy éreztem, hogy az önök cégénél új tudásra tehetnék szert.."

Politely Addressing Your Conversation Partner

In English, polite language is quite simple, and you can address your conversation partner easily by adding Mr/Miss/Mrs before the second name of the partner. However, you may have felt that addressing your conversation partner in Hungarian can be quite tricky depending on the context. Let's clear those rules up!

Addressing men in a polite conversation

If you need to call somebody for the first time, and you don't know his name, you can generally say Uram! or Fiatalember! but please note that the latter is only used with young men and never in a business context.

When you know the person's family name, you can simply add úr at the end of his name and say Kovács úr which is equivalent to "Mr Kovács." However, you will never use úr after a first name; this would be felt as an insinuating manner. Another possibility is to use only the first name alone, if you know it. This is still very polite and is often used when talking to a colleague or when a boss is talking to an employee.

In a professional context, when your conversation partner has a respectful position or profession, you usually put úr after his profession, not his name.

Some examples:

1.      Doktor úr - "Doctor..."
2.      Tanár úr - "Professor..."
3.      Főnök úr - "Sir..."
4.      Igazgató úr - "Principal/Director..."
5.      Polgármester úr - "Mayor..."

Addressing women in a polite conversation

Women can be somewhat difficult to address because usually Hungarians are more polite when talking to women. If you address a women for the first time, you can say Asszonyom! or Hölgyem! ("Madam!" or "Miss!") the rules are the same here as for men, the latter is only used for young women and never in a business context.

When using the person's family name, you can add asszony after her name, but never hölgyem. Kovács asszony is the equivalent of Mrs Kovács, in a letter or email you can also use Kovácsné where -né means that the person is married and took the name of her husband. However, if you don't know whether the person is married, you should use asszony.

When the other person introduces herself by her first name, you should call her by her first name. Please note that in a professional context, it is not polite to use surnames except for addressing colleagues in a friendly way.

When talking to someone with a public position, such as teachers or doctors, you usually put the ending "-nő" after her profession.

For example:

1.      Tanárnő - "Professor (female)..."
2.      Doktornő - "Doctor (female)..."

However, in a professional context, one would say igazgató asszony (literally "Mrs Director") or főnök asszony (literally "Mrs Executive") to address a director of a company or someone in top of the hierarchy, because asszony is usually much more polite.

Some examples:

1.      Elnök asszony - "Mrs President"
2.      Polgármester asszony - "Mrs Mayor"
3.      Képviselő asszony - "Mrs Representative"

Using the Conditional Form when Making Requests

It is no surprise that Hungarians often use conditional form to make polite requests or ask polite questions, the same is true for English or French. When you are the subject of the sentence, you can also use potential form to be more polite.

For example:

1. Megkérhetem, hogy ismételje meg?
   "Can I ask you to repeat it please?"
   or to be even more polite, you can say
2. Megkérhetném, hogy ismételje meg?
   "Could I ask you to repeat it please?"

When asking requests, you can use the following expressions.

1. Megtenné, hogy megismétli/odaadja/elküldi... 
   "Would you do such a thing to repeat/ give/ send.."
2. Lenne szíves megmondani/elvinni/megvárni... 
   "Would you be lovely to tell/take/wait..."
3. Tudna esetleg ajánlani...
   "Could you eventually recommend..."
4. Nem bánná, ha kölcsönvenném/felhívnám... 
   "Would you mind if I borrowed/called..."
5. Megkérhetném, hogy hívjon vissza/várjon meg.... 
   "Could I ask you to call me back/wait for me..."
6. Hálás lennék, ha elküldené ...
   "I would be grateful if you'd send it..."
7. Le lennék kötelezve, ha megmondaná/leírná... 
   "I would be obliged to you if you told/wrote it down..."
8. Aziránt szeretnék érdeklődni, hogy merre találom/nyitva vannak e...  
   "I would like to inquire about where to find/opening hours..."

Sample Sentences

1.           Hálás lennék, ha elkísérne az állomásig.
   "I would be grateful if you would accompany me to the station"
2.           Aziránt szeretnék érdeklődni, hogy merre találom Kovács úr irodáját.
   "I would like to inquire about where to find the office of Mr Kovács."
3.          Elnézést kérek, lenne szíves megismételni a nevét?
   "I apologize, would you please repeat your name?"
4.          Megkérhetném, hogy hívjon vissza a tárgyalás után?
   "Could I ask you to call me back after the conference?"
5.          Lenne szíves átadni ezt az üzenetet az Elnök úrnak?
   "Would you be kind to give this message to the President?"
6.          Le lennék kötelezve, ha erről nem beszélne senkinek.
   "I would be grateful if you didn't talk about this."

Employment in Hungary

More and more companies are involved with illegal employment called "black work" or feketemunka in Hungarian. These companies don't register their employees legally or they register only a small part of their employees' revenue in order to avoid heavy taxes. A job-seeker should be aware that a seasonal job or a part-time job will not be entirely registered. Employers of cleaning ladies, gardeners, baby-sitters or waiters will try to avoid taxes and will not pay health insurance or retirement taxes. In order to avoid, don't accept a position where you are paid entirely or in part in cash even if they offer to pay you more.

Useful expression:

1. Nincs bejelentett munkahelye.
   "He doesn't have a registered job."